Fears

I’m afraid of loving you.

Afraid of giving my heart to you.

Afraid of wanting you

so much that I weep

every time you

are in my arms.

Afraid of having perpetual flashes

of those passionate moments

that will only leave behind

a bittersweet afterglow.

Afraid of ending up

feeling so empty

and still in need of you

when I realize we

cannot share a future

together.

Afraid of memorizing

the contours of your bare skin

and my hands itching

to trace them with eyes closed

in your absence.

Afraid of associating

objects and places with you

and that you will never be

far from my mind.

Afraid of being vulnerable

and getting bruised with wounds

that will take thousands of

teardrops to heal.

I’m afraid of loving you.

And yet I’m afraid of losing you.

Inspiration from Little Women

Go then, my Little Book, and show to all

That entertain, and bid thee welcome shall,

What thou dost keep close shut up in thy breast;

And wish that thou dost show them may be blest

To them for good, may make them choose to be

Pilgrims better, by far, than thee or me.

Tell them of Mercy; she is one

Who early hath her pilgrimage begun.

Yea, let young damsels learn of her to prize

The world which is to come, and so be wise;

For little tripping maids may follow God

Along the ways which saintly feet have trod.”

 

~ Louisa May Alcott.

Preface, Little Women.

(Adapted from John Bunyan, The Pilgrim’s Progress).

[something borrowed]